What is 'heteropessimism', and why do men and women suffer from it?
A friend introduces their partner as "my current husband". Another jokes about marriage as a life sentence. Everyone laughs, no one is surprised.
The sentiments at the heart of these asides are pervasive and familiar to many people in (or who have had) heterosexual relationships. There is now a term for this negativity: "heteropessimism".
The Enlightened Mother in Australian Tibetan Buddhism
This qualitative research examines the lived experiences of a group of women with the tripartite identity of Australian adoptee Tibetan Buddhist, woman and mother. The key areas of investigation encompass the experiences of mothering within an Australian context, for women who have chosen to adopt the practice of Tibetan Buddhism. The research examines the application of Buddhist philosophy, teachings and practices to mothering and investigates how Buddhism constructs gender representation and female roles. It analyses how such roles are challenged, dismissed or supported within the Tibetan Buddhist community and how Tibetan Buddhism can influence or enhance the experience of a mother and her child(ren) from the mother’s perspective. In the thesis I discuss whether motherhood is an obstacle on the path to renunciation or enlightenment, or the greatest opportunity for women to follow the spiritual path. I utilise the methodology of narrative and mindful inquiry, listening to the voices and stories of twenty women and mothers to provide an understanding of the Australian adoptee Tibetan Buddhist community and its institutional framework. The research utilises a Buddhist feminist framework to better understand the influences of contemporary Tibetan Buddhism on being a mother. By integrating this feminist theory and theology, with an analysis of Buddhist writings, practices and objects and their representation of women, I reveal what is contained within the interviews at the intersection of Tibetan Buddhism and motherhood. Australian women and mothers adopt Tibetan Buddhism for a variety of reasons, and particularly value the freedom of choice that Buddhism provides, when compared to other religions. Whether they perceive Buddhism as a religion or a philosophy, all participants recognise its value both to them, and their children. This study highlights the institutional and cultural barriers to Tibetan Buddhist practice for mothers and incorporates recommendations for future research. It promotes more equitable participation of women and mothers in Buddhism and seeks to help shape the path to enlightenment, so that it is inclusive for all.